How to Write When You Don't Feel Like It by Rachel Jendrzejewski
PART 4. ROUTINE
“Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire.” -Martha Graham When you don’t feel like writing—and especially when you don’t have, or have fallen out of, a daily writing practice—it’s really easy to get down on yourself about not feeling like a disciplined person. In general, I’m a pretty big fan of NOT forcing yourself to be disciplined in ways that might make sense for other people, but don’t make sense for you. After all, there’s no singular way to be a writer; some people write diligently every morning, while others bust out tons of writing in the summer and then teach the rest of the year. Others write in totally erratic fits and bursts maybe once every few years. All of these relationships to writing are valid! That said, for many of us, sometimes there is real value to be found in cultivating a certain kind of athletic discipline; and having a routine definitely can be helpful in showing up to writing even when you don’t feel up for it, like brushing your teeth even when you’re sleepy.
I have a very erratic work life with minimal routine built in; my projects are constantly changing, I travel a lot (outside of pandemic times anyway), and in general I value the sharpened senses, adaptation, and growth that come with change. So for a long time, I thought routine was not really for me. Then, a few years ago, one of my doctors pointed out that I probably have more routine built into my days than I realize. This was in the context of her telling me that I needed to do some physical therapy exercises daily; I was bemoaning how I didn’t know how to consistently integrate that sort of thing into my life. “Do you make coffee in the morning?” she asked. “Do you feed your cat?” Well, yes... She noted that these are moments where I could “tack on” a little more routine. “Do a few stretches while you wait for the water to boil.” It’s actually so doable! Hence I want to offer that, even when everything may feel upside down, and even when we really REALLY aren’t feeling it, we can find small ways to make ourselves write daily. It doesn’t have to be five hours of writing, or even one. It can be so brief. Because the thing is, just showing up is an accomplishment, and muscle builds over time.
What this looks like for me right now (and once again, I have doctors to thank): I have this Ten Year Project that I started after being prescribed a medication that I’m supposed to take daily for 10 years. As I thought about how to remember to take the pill, I thought about tagging routines onto other routines; and then I thought, wouldn’t it be sweet to come up with a writing practice to go with this new routine, continually reminding myself that I’m not just a cancer patient but also a writer. I knew this practice had to be incredibly brief and not precious if I realistically am going to do it every day, so I kept it super simple: when I take the pill, I write ten words and post them online. That’s it, that’s the practice. I’ve been doing it for a little over two years now, so that’s 7300+ words, a decent amount of material! For me, this writing is disposable, so I don’t plan to do anything else with it; but sharing it out has led to several collaborations where other artists are integrating my text into their visual work, or as lyrics for music, which I’ve loved. I also can imagine how one could easily use such a practice to build material toward something larger and more cohesive, like a novel. Another small example, which isn’t daily but feels worth noting for its bite-sized format: I’m in a group with three other writers where, every other Sunday at the same time, we write by hand for 15 minutes, type that text into the body of an email for 15 minutes, then hit “send” and share the writing with each other. No discussion, no critique; just showing up to the writing and to each other.
Exercise: What might daily writing practice look like for you? What could you really honestly imagine eking out every day—one single word? ten minutes of freewriting? Jot down some ideas. Notice how you feel as you make this list; if an idea gives you anxiety, see if you can simplify it. If you already have a daily writing practice, reflect on how it’s going and if there are ways you could tweak it (either simplifying it or adding more challenge) based on the conditions of your life and your needs right now.